Easter Weekend

Easter weekend was so joyful for me this year.  Nothing spectacular happened.  Bill was stuck in San Diego for Good Friday so I went to church and had coffee afterwards with friends.  Saturday I had a good run in the morning and spent the afternoon lounging around.  We celebrated Easter on Saturday night by going to church and than having dinner out.  Sunday we slept in and spent the afternoon with old family friends of Bill's.

See nothing spectacular happened.  Except that I did't cry.  For the first time in 6 years I didn't cry on Easter weekend.  It was Good Friday of 2004 that I found out my mom died.  Subsequent Easters have always had a little bit of a cloud over them and at some point I would weep.   This year I was fully prepared for Easter to be a repeat of years past.  But it wasn't.  It was actually very different.  It was very joyful.

In Ephesians 3 Paul's prayer for the church was that they would would have the power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.  I read and thought through those verses the week prior to Easter and Easter weekend it hit me in a new way that Jesus' death on the cross was the ultimate demonstration of God's love for me.  He died so that I could live.  I guess it kind of felt like I got a deeper glimpse of that love - the width, the height, and the depth of it.  I encountered the heart of God and it left me full and joyful.

I suspect I am also moving past the death of my mom more and more.  A lot of life has happened since she died.  My sister has been cancer free for 5 years and has become a mom twice (baby number 3 arrives in June!).  My brother's daughter, my mom's oldest grandchild, will be in middle school next year.  And I've changed careers, bought property, and become a wife and dog owner.

The details of my mom are starting to fade.  I think of her less and less.  I hear that is common.  The good news is that I have not forgotten the heart of my mom.  She would have marveled at her children's accomplishments.  Her grandchildren would have been her delight.  And she would have been tickled pink* to meet Bill.

It is a joy to know the heart of God and the ones I love.

*My mom always used that phrase to express her delight in someone or something.  Hearing those words bring a smile to my face.